I’ve just gained a whole new respect for California Guv Arnold Schwarzeneggar:
http://blogs.abcnews.com/george/2009/10/arnolds-veto-message-an-f-you-to-sf-lawmaker.html
Read the letter (left hand margin letters spell it out)
http://gov.ca.gov/pdf/press/2009bills/AB1176_Ammiano_Veto_Message.pdf
Yes, I’m a winter person…so you can easily imagine how much this view from my studio window thrills me! Our first major winter storm, and in October! Excellent.
There’s already more than a foot on the ground and the heaviest amounts are due to fall overnight and into tomorrow.
I think I just peed a little.
Sometimes, one must re-visit one’s priorities.
Last spring, I began volunteering for the Rocky Mountain Great Dane Rescue. For six months, I immersed myself in fundraising for the rescue, and enjoyed every second of it. I didn’t know when I got involved that it would be like taking on a second 40-hour a week job, but it was. It fulfilled me in many ways.
But one morning I awoke with a troubled feeling that refused to be named. I set about trying to call it out, identify itself to me. And it did. Eventually.
We all harbor ways in which we secretly sabotage our own efforts at attaining goals. Sometimes we can be quite sneaky about it, couching our methods in ways that, on the surface, seem quite philanthropic and admirable. Lurking underneath, however, is still an aversion to success.
Met with a good friend and fellow writer this past weekend, our discussion focused on my concern that he was blocked in his writing and that it was affecting his participation in our writing group. He admitted that he was fearful of not being “perfect.” We discussed that at length, during which I admitted my own fear: rejection. I’ve written drafts of 25 novels, but have only submitted a handful of times to agents. I feel as if I’ve cultivated a persona as a “darling’ of the writing conference circuit…and perhaps that is merely my way of searching for the courage to believe in myself. And I realized that it’s hypocritical to coach someone through their fear, yet haven’t found my own path to conquering fear.
Afterward, as I was driving home, the troubled feeling I’d been having came into focus. It was like looking at an abstract painting and everyone around you is seeing what’s there…except you. The animal rescue? A diversion. A clever way of justifying not sending my writing out.
Oh, I don’t have time today, I’ll do it later.
Right.
So that was an eye opener, a punch to the solar plexus.
On Monday, I resigned from the rescue so that I could work toward regaining control of my time, creating more space to devote to writing. Even though I still wrote quite a bit, it was writing into the void…no real timeline for submitting my work.
Well, that’s all changed now.
I’m back on task.
I should know better.
When I posted recently about taking a hiatus from blogging, I did it in a moment of overwhelment. (no, that’s not really a word, but it should be. Kind of like “fabulosity” needing to be inserted into the dictionary. As in, “I’m exercising my fabulosity!”)
Had I simply looked ahead at my schedule, I would’ve seen that I had 14 days coming up during which I would not be at the day job. Blogging time, in other words.
So I retract my earlier hiatus post, because here I am, back in the blogging saddle again.
I was feeling quite overwhelmed for a couple weeks there. My involvement with the ROCKY MOUNTAIN GREAT DANE RESCUE has increased dramatically, as has my responsibility at the day-job. Especially now that my super-boss is retiring and the super-disorganized boss is trying to take over. Poorly, I might add.
But I digress…
So I was thinking that this is my favorite time of year, and what was I thinking trying to take time off from blogging now? Silly wabbit.
Okay, so to quote myself:
HI, HEARD YA MISSED ME, I’M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAC K!
Wow, it’s fall already! It seems like the summer simply flew by. Obviously, I haven’t had much time to update my blog, and decided it’s time to take a hiatus to focus on other things. I’m knee-deep in a new novel project, and it’s hard enough to find the time to work on that let alone come up with blog topics. I will continue to post here as the urge strikes, so keep checking in! Until then…
I’VE GOT A FEELIN’ – What is optimism? Dictionary.com defines it thusly:
noun – a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
I’ve always tended toward optimism. Not in the Pollyanna-ish way of some…but in a real, dyed-in-the-wool way. In spite of the overwhelming efforts of others to want to drag me down to their level, I remain oddly optimistic. It’s what keeps me going each day…always knowing that there are a universe of opportunities just waiting to be discovered.
I don’t know where it comes from (and I don’t ever question it), but it seems an endless supply of optimism is available for me to own. Not 365.25 days a year. I have days which aren’t the best, just like anyone. I do things I’m not proud of, certainly. But I always bounce back eventually. It’s one of the things I truly love about myself…and what I admire most in others.
“NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER!” – We lost a stellar actor and humanitarian this week. Patrick Swayze was a gentleman and an enormous talent who’ll be missed on this planet. R.I.P. Mr. Swayze.
IT’S A LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP – I love my boss. Not so much the job I do for the government, but my boss makes it all worthwhile. (yes, he’s an eternal optimist like me) He’s retiring on November 6th. Those who are aligning themselves to become my new boss are not people I would really like to work for. The forerunner is my “other” boss…a gentleman who works in my section and for whom I answer to when my primary boss is out of the office. However, “other boss,” or OB, is incredibly disorganized, flaky, and demanding. He’s a very nice guy, but not the best boss material. He overlooks details, which causes others a lot more work and headache trying to clean up after him. He rushes on everything, like it all had to be done YESTERDAY. That’s been very difficult to manage. Now that he believes he’s next in line for the section boss position, he’s already treating me as if I’m at his beck and call. So far, I’ve successfully avoided falling prey to his scattered energies, but it’s not always easy. I have not yet told him that I’m actively looking for employment in a different environment…but I believe that I’ll have to soon, if only to get him off my back now.
2009 is a strange year. If you planet-watch at all, either as an astronomer or astrologer, you may already know that Mercury, that planet that rules communication, transportation, thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information, commerce, and education, goes retrograde several times in a calendar year.
What’s that mean, you ask?
A planet is described as retrograde when it appears to be moving backwards through the zodiac. According to modern science, this traditional concept arises in the illusory planetary motion created by the orbital rotation of the earth with relation to other planets in our solar system. Planets are never actually retrograde or stationary, they just seem that way due to this cosmic shadow-play.
As a rule, retrograde planets mark a period of seemingly inevitable or fated events that relate to their sphere of influence. Unresolved issues from the past tend to rear their heads. Retro phases present us with a series of events over which we seem to have little or no conscious control, relating especially to the sign in which the retrogradation occurs. For example, Mercury retrograde in Libra (relationships; tastes; harmony) awakens quite different sets of circumstances from those generated when he retrogrades into Virgo (analysis; critical ability). When Mercury begins to go retrograde, there’s a thing called the “shadow,” which we fall under the influence of up to two weeks before and after the cosmic event.
Retrograde periods are good times to delve within and chart an inner course of action for your life. Many times, one feels the need to retreat anyway because of the chaotic influences of Mercury retrograde.
I always know when Merc’s going backward, because I tend to drop things all the time, or trip, or stub my toes. All that began about a week ago, alerting me that Merc was headed in reverse, which actually took place today.
The wonderful benefits of this event is that, at least for me, my writing flourishes. By the end of the long weekend, I will have written 50 new pages in my work-in-progress, Plummet. Creativity tends to double or triple during this period. Of course, there are frustrations, too. Like relationships tend to get tougher to maintain. Small things seem to conspire to make you late, or trip you up, or run amok. It’s also not a good idea to sign contracts or agreements during these periods.
And why 2009 is strange, is that Mercury will have gone retrograde FOUR times in the calendar year. That’s quite unusual. But I’m making the best of it, certainly. Which isn’t always possible.
Favorite time of year, when the mornings are cool enough to warrant a jacket, yet the days remain warm. This is the winding down time of summer, when the days grow ever-shorter and the scent of autumn is hinted at in every breeze. On our morning walks, the pups seem to sense it as well, for they forage more carefully, examine the leaves that have already fallen and shove their curious noses into seemingly vacated burrows.
This tilting of the earth toward winter brings a sense of deep peace and understanding that all is right with the universe, and my place in it.
 | Greg on Are You Pondering What I… |
 | Margaret Y. on Day Five – Yaz Chronicle… |
 | Pamela on Day Five – Yaz Chronicle… |
 | Tricia on The 180 – Yaz Chronicles… |
 | Katy on The 180 – Yaz Chronicles… |
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