The unthinkable has happened.

Just a week ago, I was commenting to a friend and fellow dog-lover about how Yaz is a “runner,” a dog whose body is just made to run and run and run.  When she’s in motion, she’s like a poem unfolding before your eyes.  Otherwise she’s clutzy and constantly tripping/falling/tumbling.  And I said to my friend that I’m worried that one morning she’s going to take off and get hit by a car or something.

And that’s what happened this morning.

A block from home, she suddenly took off and disappeared quickly in the darkness of the early morning.  We walked through the chill air, calling for her.  When we reached the main thoroughfare near our home, a car pulled onto the street and accelerated.  Within seconds, the thump and scream of an animal in agony.

The driver didn’t stop, but merely slowed, then sped off.  I ran, her name tearing from my throat as her cries ripped my heart in two.

She wasn’t dead, but blood coated her teeth and she lay in the street, unable to get up, her breathing ragged.  I dragged her from the road and collapsed with her in my lap on the sidewalk, yanking my cell phone from my pocket and calling the first person I could think of: neighbor and friend Nancy, whose dog’s we’d sat for many times.  Nancy has become like a godmother to my pups and I trust her implicitly.  She arrived, hair amuss and in her pajamas (it was 4:30 a.m. after all) and helped me load the dogs into her car, and then we transported Yaz to the only emergency vet clinic in the area.

After arguing with the emergency staff over payment (I hadn’t thought to bring my wallet), and they threatened to refuse treatment, I counter-threatened them with contacting the state regulatory agency that licensed them.  They relented and grudgingly treated her.

As soon as my vet’s office opened, I arranged to pick Yaz up – she’d since been stabalized – and moved her.

She has fractured ribs and potentially a collapsed lung.  The vet is worried about fluid build-up, and so is keeping her stable with oxygen and fluids.  She’s responsive as she can be around the pain meds she’s kept on.  Don’t know much more than that.

So for now, it’s a watching and waiting thing.

And hoping.

Oh yeah.  End of the year means…IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER LIST!  As your friendly neighborhood list-whore, here is my antidote for all those other end-of-the-year lists.  Not that mine’s all that different except it comes in NOVEMBER instead the end of the year.  So spank me. No really, spank me.  Spank me hard, mama…

OUT: Gourmet & high-priced coffee shops

IN: Gourmet & high-priced tea shoppes

OUT: Designer dogs

IN: Mutts & Rescue dogs

OUT: “Birthers”

IN: Native Americans

OUT: Poseurs

IN: Truth

OUT: Denial

IN: Facts

OUT: Reality Shows

IN: Quality Programming

OUT: Lying Media

IN: Truth Journalism

OUT: Consumer Greed

IN: Sacrifice

OUT: Texting

IN: F2F Conversing

OUT: “Intelligent” Design

IN: Science

OUT: “Put a ring on it!”

IN: “Put a lid on it!”

OUT: Cigarettes

IN: Books

OUT: Action Films

IN: Dramatic Films

OUT: Unnecessary Drama

IN: Excitement

OUT: Goth/Emo

IN: Steampunk

OUT: Voting like Oprah

IN: Eating like Oprah

OUT: Executive compensation

IN: Executive castration

OUT: Destructivity

IN: Creativity

OUT: Ignorance

IN: Education

Though still a little rough around edges, bringing Yaz into our home was one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.
She earns the nickname “Yaz the Spaz” every day, and that’s one of her most endearing qualities.

So…happy 2nd Burfday, Yaz!  You’re amazing!

I’ve just gained a whole new respect for California Guv Arnold Schwarzeneggar:
http://blogs.abcnews.com/george/2009/10/arnolds-veto-message-an-f-you-to-sf-lawmaker.html

Read the letter (left hand margin letters spell it out)
http://gov.ca.gov/pdf/press/2009bills/AB1176_Ammiano_Veto_Message.pdf

Yes, I’m a winter person…so you can easily imagine how much this view from my studio window thrills me!  Our first major winter storm, and in October!  Excellent.

There’s already more than a foot on the ground and the heaviest amounts are due to fall overnight and into tomorrow.

I think I just peed a little.

Sometimes, one must re-visit one’s priorities.

Last spring, I began volunteering for the Rocky Mountain Great Dane Rescue.  For six months, I immersed myself in fundraising for the rescue, and enjoyed every second of it. I didn’t know when I got involved that it would be like taking on a second 40-hour a week job, but it was. It fulfilled me in many ways.

But one morning I awoke with a troubled feeling that refused to be named.  I set about trying to call it out, identify itself to me.  And it did. Eventually.

We all harbor ways in which we secretly sabotage our own efforts at attaining goals.  Sometimes we can be quite sneaky about it, couching our methods in ways that, on the surface, seem quite philanthropic and admirable.  Lurking underneath, however, is still an aversion to success.

Met with a good friend and fellow writer this past weekend, our discussion focused on my concern that he was blocked in his writing and that it was affecting his participation in our writing group.  He admitted that he was fearful of not being “perfect.”  We discussed that at length, during which I admitted my own fear: rejection.  I’ve written drafts of 25 novels, but have only submitted a handful of times to agents.  I feel as if I’ve cultivated a persona as a “darling’ of the writing conference circuit…and perhaps that is merely my way of searching for the courage to believe in myself.  And I realized that it’s hypocritical to coach someone through their fear, yet haven’t found my own path to conquering fear.

Afterward, as I was driving home, the troubled feeling I’d been having came into focus. It was like looking at an abstract painting and everyone around you is seeing what’s there…except you.  The animal rescue?  A diversion.  A clever way of justifying not sending my writing out.

Oh, I don’t have time today, I’ll do it later.

Right.

So that was an eye opener, a punch to the solar plexus.

On Monday, I resigned from the rescue so that I could work toward regaining control of my time, creating more space to devote to writing.  Even though I still wrote quite a bit, it was writing into the void…no real timeline for submitting my work.

Well, that’s all changed now.

I’m back on task.

When pet owners resemble their pets…

I should know better.

When I posted recently about taking a hiatus from blogging, I did it in a moment of overwhelment.  (no, that’s not really a word, but it should be.  Kind of like “fabulosity” needing to be inserted into the dictionary.  As in, “I’m exercising my fabulosity!”)

Had I simply looked ahead at my schedule, I would’ve seen that I had 14 days coming up during which I would not be at the day job.  Blogging time, in other words.

So I retract my earlier hiatus post, because here I am, back in the blogging saddle again.

I was feeling quite overwhelmed for a couple weeks there.  My involvement with the ROCKY MOUNTAIN GREAT DANE RESCUE has increased dramatically, as has my responsibility at the day-job.  Especially now that my super-boss is retiring and the super-disorganized boss is trying to take over.  Poorly, I might add.

But I digress…

So I was thinking that this is my favorite time of year, and what was I thinking trying to take time off from blogging now?  Silly wabbit.

Okay, so to quote myself:

HI, HEARD YA MISSED ME, I’M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAC K!

Wow, it’s fall already!  It seems like the summer simply flew by.  Obviously, I haven’t had much time to update my blog, and decided it’s time to take a hiatus to focus on other things.  I’m knee-deep in a new novel project, and it’s hard enough to find the time to work on that let alone come up with blog topics.  I will continue to post here as the urge strikes, so keep checking in!  Until then…

I’VE GOT A FEELIN’ – What is optimism?  Dictionary.com defines it thusly:

noun – a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.

I’ve always tended toward optimism.  Not in the Pollyanna-ish way of some…but in a real, dyed-in-the-wool way.  In spite of the overwhelming efforts of others to want to drag me down to their level, I remain oddly optimistic.  It’s what keeps me going each day…always knowing that there are a universe of opportunities just waiting to be discovered.

I don’t know where it comes from (and I don’t ever question it), but it seems an endless supply of optimism is available for me to own.  Not 365.25 days a year.  I have days which aren’t the best, just like anyone.  I do things I’m not proud of, certainly.  But I always bounce back eventually.  It’s one of the things I truly love about myself…and what I admire most in others.

“NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER!” – We lost a stellar actor and humanitarian this week.  Patrick Swayze was a gentleman and an enormous talent who’ll be missed on this planet. R.I.P. Mr. Swayze.

IT’S A LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP – I love my boss.  Not so much the job I do for the government, but my boss makes it all worthwhile.  (yes, he’s an eternal optimist like me)  He’s retiring on November 6th.  Those who are aligning themselves to become my new boss are not people I would really like to work for.  The forerunner is my “other” boss…a gentleman who works in my section and for whom I answer to when my primary boss is out of the office.  However, “other boss,” or OB, is incredibly disorganized, flaky, and demanding.  He’s a very nice guy, but not the best boss material.  He overlooks details, which causes others a lot more work and headache trying to clean up after him.  He rushes on everything, like it all had to be done YESTERDAY.  That’s been very difficult to manage.  Now that he believes he’s next in line for the section boss position, he’s already treating me as if I’m at his beck and call.  So far, I’ve successfully avoided falling prey to his scattered energies, but it’s not always easy.  I have not yet told him that I’m actively looking for employment in a different environment…but I believe that I’ll have to soon, if only to get him off my back now.