The Struggle

Woke up this morning with a lot on my mind.

The Job, of course. Will I stay?  Will I go?  I don’t know yet.  Don’t have all the information I need to make a good decision. I do know that the prospect of going in to the office every day is wearing me down.

Been quite a bit more exhausted than usual these last few days.  Sleep doesn’t seem to help much.  Not sure what to do about it.  But I am pretty sure what’s causing it.

Allergies, for one.  Wicked bad this season, most likely due to all the rain we’ve had.  The pollen count is at record highs here.  I’m allergic to tree pollen of all types.  It’s a tough time of year for me when they start acting up.  And the moisture has washed it all into the grass and weeds so that when it does warm up, the ground re-releases the pollen into the air.  Have spent several weeks struggling to breathe and to see through eyes that swell up without warning.  Claritin helps a bit, but hasn’t been the miracle that it has been in past years.  Allergies make me nauseous all the time, as well, and feverish sometimes. It’s like have the flu for three months.

Stress.  Got in deep and fast with the Great Dane Rescue, and have been recently named the primary Event Coordinator for the western states.  Not sure yet what added responsibilities that will bring, but am trying to reconcile that with keeping a writing and work schedule.  Might be a too-much-too-soon situation.  Will monitor this over the next several weeks.  Down side being that many of these events may require being outdoors more than usual.  I’m NOT a summer person.  May not elect to stay with this, but I’ll see.  Also, see paragraph on allergies above.

The Evil Empire has reared its ugly head once again.  This is a company that I once worked for and who do not have a shred of integrity when it comes to their business dealings.  They train their employees to rip people off at every chance, and have stolen more money than can easily be tracked, not only from their customers, but from their employees, too.  I spent many months battling false allegations in court with these idiots, and for some reason, they’ve decided to come at me once more.  This time, however, I have retained a good attorney and plan on fighting their injustice with every resource available.  Why they waited five years to try their unlawful antics again, I don’t know, but it does not bode well for them.  At this point, my attorney and I are determining whether to file counter-litigation. These are the same people who fired one of their employees after twenty-nine years of service, just so they wouldn’t have to pay for his insurance which was due to kick in the following day.  Sexual harrassment, thievery, underhanded business tactics…you name it, these people do it.  They try to deny it, but there are far too many people in town who are willing to testify against them now.  It’s time to smack these bastards down.

Had a brief flare-up with Evil-Bitch-Sister last week, which died down pretty quickly, and which completely reaffirmed my decision five years ago to distance myself from that whole morass of dysfunction.  Something must be in my astrology to have these things all come up at once.

So you can see what’s been weighing on me.  It threatens to become overwhelming, and I’m fighting it, successfully so far.